Right person, wrong time
It doesn't happen often. This time it did, and the timing was the whole problem.
Most people you meet, you forget within a week. I didn't forget this one.
I found a reason to talk to her again. Then another. Every time we talked, it got clearer — this wasn't just someone I liked. This was someone I could actually build a life with.
Then I looked at my own life. No steady job. No place of my own. Nothing solid enough to offer anyone right now.
She deserves better than that. I still feel like a kid who doesn't know what his future looks like, who hasn't done anything real for his own family yet, and who isn't solid in his faith either. That's a lot of unfinished for one person to bring into someone else's life.
So I slowed down. Not because I stopped caring. Caring was never the problem.
I keep telling myself this is the responsible choice — wait until I have something real to offer, then try again. Some days that sounds wise. Other nights it just sounds like an excuse with good manners.
I don't know if she'll still be there when I'm ready. I don't know if "ready" is even a real date, or just a story I tell myself to make the waiting feel like a plan.